A Journey Underway

My health and fitness journey began a few months ago.  As I began dropping “baby weight” my determination continued to grow.  I was doing a specific diet or anything like that.  I began learning what is truly healthy and what isn't.  But instead of leaving it at not healthy, I began to research and learn why these things weren't healthy!

About 2 months ago I began a new part of my journey which was a Team Beachbody Challenge with a good friend of mine and an amazing an inspiring coach who was once where I was in many ways!  In the first two weeks of this challenge I lost 4 ½ inches from my waist, hips and bust.  That set me on fire! You see my “baby” was 2 ½ years old when I started this journey.  And I call it baby weight, but I know it wasn't that at all.  I had fallen into bad habits both in fitness and nutrition.

I've made a huge amount of progress and I will continue to do that each day for the rest of my life.  I am not on a diet!  And I will tell you why in a future post.  In the mean time, I just wanted to put this out there.  I am almost in single digits left of my weight loss goal.  But I think my current goal was modest and look at it now as a stepping stone.  I have new goals and new views!  I am excited by what the future holds and I will be sharing with all of you from time to time. 

I have a new lifestyle.  I have a new lease on life with more energy than I remember having in quite some time!  Well honestly it’s the most energy I've had in probably five going on six years!  That is saying something! I will be sharing more in future posts.  I am now a coach, and I love that I am helping others overcome what I have.  I am learning with and from each person I meet! 

Love & Hugs,

Heather 

Is Different Bad?

I feel this is a very valid question.  But here is the background to why I am asking you.  I interact with teenagers on a daily basis.  The norm these days all over our country seems to be sexual promiscuity is normal.  If a young woman or man chooses not to be sexually active, they are pressured, called names and even viewed as different.

There is Nothing Wrong with Being Different!
Many People are Better "Swimming" Away from the  Crowd!

So my original question remains, is different bad?  I don't think it is at all!  In recent weeks I have heard horrid stories from multiple personal sources.  Everything from one girl not going to prom because she is not sexually active and her date was later asked by a sexually active girl so he changed his mind.  To a grown woman currently being in prison for sleeping with one of her daughter's peers.

I talk about parenting all the time.  I post helpful tips both here and for the websites I write for, but obviously we need to go back to the basics at this point.  We need to make it clear that not being sexually active is not only okay, but we prefer it.  We need to encourage our children, boys and girls, to pursue their talents and dreams without adding obstacles like diseases or children.

Every person is different for a reason!
Be true to who you are!

I live in a small town and I am shocked how often I hear rumors of adults acting crazily with other adults.  I guess it is not a wonder why some children behave this way when adults view it as normal.  Obviously what adults do is truly their own business to the extent that they don't put it on display for children to learn from.  (That is my personal opinion anyway.)  No matter what choices we as parents make on a personal issue such as this, all I can ask as a parent of another teen is that you don't expect that your children will not follow in your footsteps if they see you doing things you don't think they are old enough to understand or do!

Make Talking a Priority!

Make it a point to talk with your children, starting in early Middle School years to make sure they know your feelings and expectations on their behavior.  It is quite possible that if you aren't talking about it with them, they don't know what you feel or expect.  They are children and they want direction and guidance from their parents, even if they don't admit it! Let your children know that in cases like this, there will come a day that they are thankful they were different and respected their body.

Even if you have sons, I think it's fair that I share with you that girls consider promiscuous boys just as gross as the opposite.  I hear about this type of boy quite often when my step-daughters come home from activities or school in general.  Just because you may not have a daughter, it is important to speak to your sons as well!  Don't wait until it's too late!

The more you are open with your children,
the more open and honest they will be with you!

Love & Hugs!

Heather 

A Little Love

Today seemed like a great day to talk about love!

My life is full of love each day, from family, friends, co-workers and all of you!  My wish for all of you today and every day is the same feeling of love.  Finding the peace inside to live in the present and accept the love all around you!

At the same time I ask that you give this same love to all you come in contact with!  If we sow what we want to reap, it is all but guaranteed to be returned abundantly.  Each of us is put on our path for a reason we may not know.  But living in love will help us find the reason.

Love & Hugs,

Heather 

Being A Step-mom

Being A Step-mom...

Always remember, you get a new chance each day to make progress on step-family relationships!  No matter how many books you buy, there is an instruction book for step-moms.  Hang in there and do your best each day.  Don't quit, today could be the day you see all your hard work pay off!

One of my favorite titles!

It's no easy job!

Unlike the difficulty of being a mom, being a step-mom is more difficult!  I won't sugar coat my advice to anyone or say it's easy.  Being a step-mom comes with many more emotional roller coaster rides.  You risk being hurt and hurting your spouse and his children on a bad day.  Each person in a family is different and they relate differently to each other which is why individual and one-on-one bonding is very important.

Your hard work will make all the difference in the world !

What Dad needs to Know!

It is imperative that there is communication between Dad and the kids in front of Step-mom.  He needs to communicate your importance to the him and the entire family.  (If you have his, hers, and ours in your family, this must be done by both parents to their children.)  It's important that this information is not assumed with children, no matter what their age.  When Dad show his respect and love to step-mom, children will follow his lead in most cases.

When Mom is "in the picture"...

There are lucky blended families where all parents are involved and get along at least well enough "for the kids".  It goes without saying that this isn't always the case.  When Mom is involved, there may not be a positive relationship between parents, many problems can occur and reoccur frequently.

The most important thing to remember is that it is about the kids only!  I can probably relate to most of your stories with horror stories of my own.  It took me a while to accomplish peace in my heart on this very topic.  But when I finally stopped personalizing attacks and took a look at the big picture, my life became much easier!  When you do what you do for the kids, it's much easier to ignore attacks and deal with facts no matter how often they occur!

Last, but not least, never ever talk negatively about Mom in the presence of the children.  This is sinking to a lower level and will always come back to haunt you.  Even if the children come to you to vent, listen and give honest feedback on the situation itself.  But feed into the negativity of the conversation.  No matter what she has done or will do to her children, she will always be their mother.  Respect that fact!

Do yourself a favor and seek peace with their mother's existence in their lives...
set a good example for your kids!

It's worth it!

There are few greater feelings in life than when your step-child feel love and comfort from you.  And when those feelings grow into a regular thing, an absolutely beautiful relationship can blossom!  It takes a lot of patience and love.  You may be hurt regularly in the beginning.  Some days it downright stinks.  Even when you feel like quitting, don't you dare!  Persistence pays and you will reap a huge life-long reward!  It's worth it!

A step-mom's love is a choice and a blessing!

Love & Hugs,

Heather :)

In the Spot Light! (Part 1)

Spot light on 2013...Anti-bully Article Published!

I just wanted to quickly share my excitement with all of my readers!

Here is a snapshot of my article that was published by Stop-Bullies.com! I was featured in their January 2013 newsletter with my article on "Bullying and the Special Needs Child".  I can only share a picture for now, because the Newsletter is a subscriber based publication.

It felt great to see my own "byline"!

Stay tuned, I will be sharing more of my article in the coming months after the subscriber base of the newsletter is able to access it!  This was a very exciting way for me to begin 2013!  As the excitement builds, I will continue to share!

Looking forward to everything 2013 holds for ALL of us!

Love & Hugs!

Heather

Finding the Courage to Make a Blended Family Strong

I am questioned constantly “How do you do it?”  “How do you keep going?”  “Do you realize what a blessing you are to those kids?”  “Do Paul and the kids realize how lucky they are?” “What is your secret?”

My basic answer to all of these very flattering questions is my belief that our rewards reaped in life are directly related to the effort in which we sow seeds!

Since becoming a stepmom I have learned SO many priceless things!  I truly believe being a good stepparent involves a ton of personal development skills and learning.  I pride myself on always being open to learning and trying new things.  This comes in very handy being that I am not blessed with the patience of a saint as some have been!  Blended families must realize that beyond the negative connotations, there is a two way street that much be traveled by both parents and all the children in the family!

As some of you know, I have my hands quite full as a fulltime mom to a toddler and full time stepmom of four wonder teens/tweens!  My stepchildren rage in age from 12 to almost 16.  I am blessed to say that I have an awesome and rare relationship with each of my stepchildren!   We work on our relationships every day almost like a team.  I take pride in the fact that except on those rare occasions they don’t view me as a negative part of their lives.

We, as a family, have dealt with quite a bit of drama and trauma (mainly the kids) in the last few years.  I am quite busy with 5 or 6 counseling appointments each week.  We have those who come to our home to work with my stepson and then we take the girls for office visits each week.  We have a list of providers a mile long but it all works out!  (If you need time management or scheduling advice, please feel free to ask!)  This is on top of all the other things that managing a family of 7, owning a business and being a full-time student entails.  No I am never bored, but I do feel deserving when I get my ever-elusive breaks in all of this action!

Step parenting may very well be one of the most outwardly thankless jobs in the entire universe.  But when each member of the family is committed to building a strong blended family, which ultimately benefits everyone, there is less focus on negative stereotypes and truly wonderful relationships are the result! 

I often remind the children that I will never replace their mother’s role in their lives, and I don’t ever want to.  After the trauma that has occurred, my husband and I try very hard to be neutral with the kids and encourage them to pursue relationships with their mother as they see fit.  The relationships in a blended family are always unique and I strive to maintain those relationships with each child separately along with all of them as a family unit.  We have very strong bonds and the children love their baby brother to no end and vice versa.  He’s a very lucky little guy I must say!

So while some days things are tough, we make it through.  We are anchored together with love and respect.  We fight for it too!  No one ever said it would or is easy!  But it is always worth the effort at the end of each day!  So, just keep going, keep trying.  Don't give up!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love & Hugs!

Heather

Can you believe it?

Another year has come and gone!

There were up's and there were down's...

The world DIDN'T end...

But I sure did learn quite a lot in the last 365 days...

Rather than drag you all through my year in review again this year, I thought I would just focus on saying thank you!  And also touching on a few things coming in 2013!

I appreciate all of you for your love and support throughout the last year.  I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you!  I look forward to the year ahead being absolutely amazing for all of us!  There will be many wonderful days ahead and many more exciting things to share as well.

One announcement I haven't had the chance to announce is that I was asked to hold the position of Vice President of Kaplan University's Collegiate Entrepreneur Organization!  I am very excited to share these happenings and may well be approaching some of you to do some spotlight work with me.  I think it will be an excellent opportunity for many!

One of my articles will be featured in the Stop-Bullies.com January print Newsletter.  The newsletter goes to many schools across the country along with a large subscribed readership.  I am very excited to see the newsletter and the many other great articles that will be included.  (Yes, you read that correctly, I will have one of my articles published in print!!)

So again, I am so grateful for each and every one of you who have supported me in 2012.  As we say goodbye to this year, I hope you have learned a lot as well!  I hope you're living true to your heart!  I hope that you're chasing down your dreams! I hope nothing will hold you back in 2013!  And I can't wait to be included in YOUR amazing year ahead!

Love and Hugs,

Heather