Monday, January 9, 2012

Mom Knows Best

Momma knows BEST!

Or so the saying goes...I guess it took becoming a mother to realize how hard it truly is. I knew all along that she didn't have a manual and I never expected her to be perfect. I still don't. Now that I am a mom and full time step-mom I feel totally understand what we put my mom through, lol.

In my daily life with the teens and "tweens" in our home, I try to remember what I was doing when I was there age and also how I felt when I was their age. Works most of the time with the girls, but my 11 yr old step-son is giving me a run for my money!
I have blocked out quite a bit of my early childhood for obvious reasons. One thing that sticks out to me, is that my mom has always worked VERY hard. Sometimes multiple jobs at once to take care of us. I have mentioned that I was physically abused by my father as a child. I want to make it clear that my mom did all she could to protect us. She was also an abused wife. She tried to take the brunt of everything with him. She is the one who taught me to pretend I was sleeping when he would get home at night. I remember that she tried to leave a few times before we actually got away. He would catch us and hurt her.

My mom and I were just okay as I grew up. We didn't not get along, but I was a typical teen who just didn't get it. Once I moved away from home we became much closer. I didn't quite realize until I was an adult that my mom is my biggest fan. She is always there for me day and night. Whenever I need anything, my mom is always there!

My mom, sister and I have been through our fair share of hurdles. But we seem to get over them and always count on each other in the process. My sister and I are nine years apart in age. We didn't go through a lot of our stages together, but we also didn't have much sibling rivalry. She has become one of my best friends now that we're both adults.

Now that I am a mother, I am starting to understand some of the dynamic of our relationship. I don't think I truly knew what it was all about until I became a mother. At that exact moment, your heart belongs to your child/children. It's no longer about you, it's about them. Their successes and triumphs are yours. Their pain and sickness is something you wish was yours so that they wouldn't feel those things. There REALLY is no manual, but good, bad or ugly, all you ever want is great things for your children.

It all makes sense now. While I never expected her to be perfect, I know now that she loves me perfectly! And she still doesn't have her heart back. Ups and downs, she still goes through it all with us!

I am lucky to have my mom! I appreciate all she has been through as my mother! I love you!!