Tuesday, October 30, 2012

One "STEP" at a Time

Choose to LOVE!

Those of you who know me well, know I went from zero kids to five with only ONE pregnancy!  And no, we don't have quints!  Not many moms can say that...but it is a fact I am very proud of! Each of the children has a special place in my heart!  I can't imagine what a day would be like without any of them...okay, I admit a day without them would be quiet.  But I would be so bored!

There are SO many things that being a Step-parent entails. There are ups and downs and a HUGE set of rules that go along with the title.  Being a step-parent MAY just be the most difficult role an adult will assume in their lives.

Blended families are rarely easy, but they don't HAVE to be a battle of jealousy or discontent!  A key to His, Hers and Ours would be to keep communication open and honest between both parents and the children.  When rules and expectations are set and adhered to, it is much easier to avoid issues and solve problems as they arise.

As these expectations are set with adolescents, it makes it much easier for everyone involved to know exactly what to expect.  A key is keeping a united front as much as possible.  Keep in mind, there will be a day when all the children leave the nest, at this time, the united front will pay off!

I have found my best relationships and bonding moments with my own step-children have come through being open with them and allowing them to be open with me.  No judgement is involved. They know I am not a replacement for their mother nor do I want to be.  Bonding is a long and continuous process and there will be hurt along the way. When you truly love your step-children as your own, they won't be able to hurt you.  Please re-read my last statement.  This was priceless advice I received, and it is true EVERY time!

As easy as it can be, you must never play favorites within a blended family! This type of engagement will only hurt all involved and break bonds that we can work so hard to create!  Keep it fair and leave emotions at the door if needed to make sure everyone is treated equally!

In blended families it may help step-parents to find support from others when times are difficult.  There may be local groups or even support groups available online to support you! Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help! Many have been where you are and made it through!  Step-parenting is a gift not everyone receives.  Cherish the relationships!!

My step-children are gifts to me!  They bring life to our home and light up my whole world!  Not to mention, they are awesome siblings to their baby brother!  No, day to day life isn't always perfect, but I love ALL my kids and I'm so thankful that they've blessed my life with their presence!

Love & Hugs,

Monday, October 22, 2012

Are You Motivated?

I mean are you TRULY motivated? What motivates you?  Time, money, feelings of "success" or something totally different? How do you stay motivated? An even better question is how do you avoid "burn out"?

Have you ever noticed how many motivation theories and models there are out there? With all these theories and the research that's been done credit or discredit them, to my knowledge there is no clear cut, definitive factor or theory that holds true the majority of the time with the majority of people.

I find myself asking why?  What don't we know? Oh that's right, I don't know what I don't know!

Motivation is defined as an internal or external process that initiates, guides and maintains goal-oriented behaviors.  There is a lot to be read between the lines of this definition.  I think the key point is that motivation is internal and external.  The more internal motivation we have the more motivated we typically remain through career ups and downs.

As I research and read, I have found that there are 4 fundamentals to motivation.  When our work creates and promotes happiness, feelings of achievement and importance and fostering the ability to create a lasting legacy motivation is at it's highest!

When our work, whether in an office or out of the home, ignites a fire deep inside of us, it's no longer work!  It becomes our passion!  Money is important, but if you only work to make money, burn out is assured!  Finding your purpose and passion is a sure fire way to find your happiness, achievement, importance and leave a long standing legacy!

Don't wait to be motivated by something external! Live and work with PASSION!

Love & Hugs,