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Monday, March 11, 2013

Is Different Bad?

I feel this is a very valid question.  But here is the background to why I am asking you.  I interact with teenagers on a daily basis.  The norm these days all over our country seems to be sexual promiscuity is normal.  If a young woman or man chooses not to be sexually active, they are pressured, called names and even viewed as different.

There is Nothing Wrong with Being Different!
Many People are Better "Swimming" Away from the  Crowd!

So my original question remains, is different bad?  I don't think it is at all!  In recent weeks I have heard horrid stories from multiple personal sources.  Everything from one girl not going to prom because she is not sexually active and her date was later asked by a sexually active girl so he changed his mind.  To a grown woman currently being in prison for sleeping with one of her daughter's peers.

I talk about parenting all the time.  I post helpful tips both here and for the websites I write for, but obviously we need to go back to the basics at this point.  We need to make it clear that not being sexually active is not only okay, but we prefer it.  We need to encourage our children, boys and girls, to pursue their talents and dreams without adding obstacles like diseases or children.

Every person is different for a reason!
Be true to who you are!

I live in a small town and I am shocked how often I hear rumors of adults acting crazily with other adults.  I guess it is not a wonder why some children behave this way when adults view it as normal.  Obviously what adults do is truly their own business to the extent that they don't put it on display for children to learn from.  (That is my personal opinion anyway.)  No matter what choices we as parents make on a personal issue such as this, all I can ask as a parent of another teen is that you don't expect that your children will not follow in your footsteps if they see you doing things you don't think they are old enough to understand or do!

Make Talking a Priority!
Make it a point to talk with your children, starting in early Middle School years to make sure they know your feelings and expectations on their behavior.  It is quite possible that if you aren't talking about it with them, they don't know what you feel or expect.  They are children and they want direction and guidance from their parents, even if they don't admit it! Let your children know that in cases like this, there will come a day that they are thankful they were different and respected their body.

Even if you have sons, I think it's fair that I share with you that girls consider promiscuous boys just as gross as the opposite.  I hear about this type of boy quite often when my step-daughters come home from activities or school in general.  Just because you may not have a daughter, it is important to speak to your sons as well!  Don't wait until it's too late!

The more you are open with your children,
the more open and honest they will be with you!


Love & Hugs!

Heather